I'm hosting a "Love and Sex" e-mail swap over here:
http://www.swap-bot.com/swap/show/37146
...but thought that this group could handle something more explicit. You probably know the drill by now: Answer the questions to the best of your ability and send your answers to five (5) partners. Because of the sensitive nature of this material, be sure to Bcc (Blind carbon copy) your partners' addresses.
Some of these questions breach uncomfortable topics, and I don't expect that everyone will be able to answer all of them. Please don't let you keep this from participating; you don't have to answer every question and can leave a couple blank if you need to. While I can't dictate ratings, I encourage all participants to be as understanding as they can be and to rate on a "curve." Be as vague or specific as you want, but be as honest as you can. Here are the questions:
- Do you have a favorite fantasy that you don’t think you’ll ever experience? What is it, and what keeps you from trying it out?
- Ever had a sexual experience involving more than one partner? How did it go, and was there any nasty fallout? If you haven’t, have you ever come close? Would you want to try it?
- Do you have a sexual fixation or interest so intense that you’d consider it a fetish? If so, what is it?
- Do you indulge your partner? Do you regularly participate in activities or fetishes you’re not really interested in just to please them? If so, do they return the favor?
- Has pornography significantly influenced your sex life? What’s your current relationship with it?
- Who’s your sexual role model? Is there a celebrity, acquaintance, or historical figure whose sexual life or style you strive to emulate?
- Were you made for these times? What historical periods, scenes or places, seem sexiest to you? Why do you think they attract you?
- The terms “penis†and “vagina†are pretty clinical. What, in your opinion, are sexier terms for our sexual organs?
- Have you ever done, or considered doing, any sex work? What was your rationale for doing, or not doing, it? Obligatory follow-up: Have you ever patronized a sex worker, and did you get what you wanted out of the experience? Did you have any ethical qualms about it?
- Have you experimented with any legal or illegal drugs in the bedroom? How did it affect your experience of sex, and would you do it again?
- Let’s face it: The terms “gay†and “straight†are pretty good descriptors, but they usually don’t cover the whole of a person’s sexual experience. How far have you, or would you, stray out of your self-identified orientation? If you identify as bisexual, where are you on the Kinsey Scale, and has this shifted over the years?
- Do you role-play with your partner? If so, what are your favorite scenarios?
- If penises are involved in your sex life, does cum do much for you? To take it a step further, what about facials?
- Oral: Give, receive, just skip it?
- Oh, heck: anal. Yes? No? Would like to try? Never in a million years?
- Does the risk of sexual transmitted diseases affect how you conduct your sex life? How do you handle this risk, practically and emotionally?
- This question comes in two parts. For the male-oriented: Does size matter? What are your preferences here? For the female-oriented: Does sexual activity cease the moment your partner’s menstrual period begins, or are you cool with it?
- Ever taken sexual explicit photos (or movies) of yourself or your partners? If so, why did you do it, and where did those images end up?
- Do you find yourself particularly attracted to persons outside your particular racial, ethnic, or class category? Do you feel conflicted about this, or are you more or less at peace with it?
- Meet my best friends, Oedipus and Elektra. Can you see any similarities between your parents, or the people who raised you, and the people you tend to date? Does this creep you out, or you okay with it?
- How does the gender role you inhabit in everyday life differ from the gender role you inhabit in sexual situations?
- Let’s talk about control and how it relates to your sex life. Do you like to gain it, or lose it, in bed? How important are these dynamics to your sexual satisfaction?
- Sometimes sex isn’t about love. Have you ever had a sexual relationship with somebody that was “no strings attached?†Did you find it satisfying, or do you need an emotional connection with your partner?
- Sometimes sex really isn’t about love. Have you ever had a satisfying sexual experience that was motivated by your darker passions? (i.e. revenge, anger, spite, pride. This might include one of the various forms of breakup sex.)
- It’s time for some self-assessment. Are you good in bed? In what areas are you particularly skilled? In what areas do you think you could use some improvement?
- You’ve earned some bragging rights. Describe an episode in your sexual history that you’re particularly proud of.
- Do you consider yourself a pervert? Do you mean this in a good way, or in a bad way?
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